Today suppose is a day for me to make the decision for us, i told him to give me some times to let me think properly whether i need him or not, he asked me is that mean within that time i wont let him know wat i will be doing, where i will go? I answer him "yes". He cant give me his answer.
Never think that in the return, he was the one to make the decision for us, he told me to give him until 20th Jan 2008 which mean is after 17 days he will give me an answer, he told me that if after the 20th Jan he still cant settle the matter, then he wanna me not to bother him anymore coz he is not worth for me to wait for him. He started crying while hugging me tight and keep saying that if can he really dont want me to leave him away. My heart is pain when seeing him so sad.
When he say he is the one got to make the decision, i keep saying no, i dont want him to make the decision coz i dont want him to suffer, i dont want him to face the difficulty, i rather that the one suffer is me.
Shall i be happy after he gave me such promise to make the decision? Is this the one i wanted? Am i really forcing him to make such decision? No, i am not, i am totally not!! My mind is very messy now, many questions pop up in my mind. What is his decision? Is he really will make the decision becoz of me? How if finally the one to be sacrified is me? Shall i really break our relationship if he still not yet giving me an answer after 20th Jan? What shall i do??? I donno, i donno, i donno..!!!
Sure within this 17 days i will have nightmare everynite....what a scary feeling....damn!!
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